Local Dungeon Master, Patrick McCarty, must be the happiest man alive in New
Orleans. He seems to have it all. McCarty is a big handsome hunk of a guy,
six feet and two inches tall. His brown eyes are alive with energy-he seems to be looking into your soul when you talk to him. But at the same time those two electrified eyes are seeing and taking in everything else that's happening. The man is a dynamo of high energy. Never totally still for even a moment, his heart must beat faster then the norm for homo sapiens; probably more like a tiger on the hunt. After his good looks and good health, McCarty has all the rest. He is happily into S&M and has an affiliation with his own group, Le Petite Bastille, in which he and mutual lovers of S&M can express their creativity.
Le Petite Bastille is a highly decorated dungeon with all the adult toys necessary to create any fantasy-cages, chains, whips, slings, cufflinks- it has the works. Leather stuff galore hangs on or from many walls and the walls are beautifully painted to resemble great stones. Yes, I took a tour of Pat McCarty's dungeon and it was like a professional stage set, meticulous in design and color and executed with great skill by artist FiFi Depraved, aka David Krumwiede. This dungeon would pass the test of a Broadway audience.
I loved the dungeon but, not being exactly a sex symbol myself, I sort of felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame lost somewhere in the cellars of that massive bit of architecture, without the hump, of course. I'm not that ugly!. But then, maybe one doesn't have to be too beautiful to be happy in a dungeon?. Just compliant-very, very compliant. And willing to take orders. Or maybe give them. Hey, with a little practice, even I-well, that's another story.
Pat McCarty will be glad to show you his dungeon it's very close to his own business, the New Orleans GayMart which is located at 808 N. Rampart Street. It's in the same block as the Lesbian & Gay Community Center of New Orleans.
The N.O. GayMart has been in business only two years, celebrating its anniversary this May. It's the place to purchase those hundreds of gay themed gifts and treasures from rainbow flags to fine jewelry to T shirts and gay videos; hats and key rings, bathing suits and glasses. You name it, you'll find it at GayMart. As far as I know, the New Orleans GayMart is the only emporium of gay themed items in the state of Louisiana. Check it out.
Now what else could McCarty need to complete his life? Why is it said that "he has it all?" Well, read on. Most importantly, McCarty has a very handsome lover in Tom Kelly. Tom is five feet nine inches tall with a muscular body, hazel eyes that say, "come to my bedroom and play," and a full and manly mustache that you just know would tickle your belly button, among other things.
Tom and Pat have been together for 20 years and they are also celebrating their anniversary during May. What else does our worthy Dungeon Master have? Hold on to your seats. McCarty also has two adorable dogs, toy poodles named Nicholas and Sadie, and two very good looking, very compliant slave boys named Drake and Jade, both of whom always respond to any stimulus with the requisite, "Sir." They even had a black Persian cat named Lucifer, but she died. Now I ask you, is Dungeon Master McCarty enjoying a complete life or not? Let's count his good fortune: he has a handsome lover for 20 years, a successful business, a dungeon filled with adult toys and people where he can express his sexuality, good health and good looks, two sexy slave boys, Jade and Drake, and two dogs. Now, If you can conceive of a better life, I'd like to know what that may be. Your own preferences may be different from that of Dungeon Master Pat McCarty's, but his is real and he's enjoying it to the fullest right now, even as you read this story. That lucky big hunk of human energy!
Pat McCarty and Tom Kelly had these words to share with our community:
"I was raised in New Orleans but born in Natchez, Mississippi," said Pat McCarty.
Tom Kelly said, "I grew up in Northwest Arkansas."
"We met at the Bourbon Pub Parade on the balcony one night," continued McCarty with a wicked smile. "He (Tom) was bent over the balcony. This was about 20 years ago." May 7th is the actual day.
"Yeah, I saw his butt and I really liked it-" Tom interrupts smiling, "We'd met before May 7 but it was May 7 when I moved in," he says with a look at Patrick.
"What's kept you together for 20 years?" I asked.
"Compromise, I guess," says McCarty.
"No, I don't think it's compromise," says Kelly. "I was asked this a couple of times at a party last week. It takes a lot of patience and a willingness to renegotiate the relationship. It's not really compromise. You do it because you want to do it. Because the relationship is worth something. And I didn't mention work, because it is work. Not drudgery-work. It's building something. It's good work," Kelly finished.
"Do either of you have any other family living nearby?"
"I have two sisters who live in the city, one brother in Baton Rouge and my parents live in Europe, McCarty said.
"My family still lives in Arkansas," Kelly said.
Both men agreed that their families were very supportive of their relationship.
"From the very beginning we've never had any problems with our parents," McCarty added with pride.
"What's the biggest problem you've had in those twenty years?" I ask.
"Sometimes just talking...communications," they both said quickly.
"We've always had an open relationship and an open mind, McCarty said. "At the present time, yes, we now have two slave boys that live with us, Jade and Drake.
"The longer you live together, the easier it is to see that you have something that isn't threatened by that, and makes it easier to accept," said Kelly quietly, as if he'd thought about this a long time.
"How old are your two slave boys, Jade and Drake?" I asked.
"One is twenty-five and one is twenty-seven," McCarty responded.
"And how old are you two," I asked.
"I'm forty two," answers McCarty.
"And I'm forty four, Kelly quips.
Both men look like they are in their thirties, and I tell them so. They laugh.
"That's what you're supposed to say," says Kelly in his "soft as twilight falling on an Arkansas meadow" accent.
I then ask McCarty about his S&M proclivities.
"I grew into the S&M phase," he tells me thoughtfully. "Tom has not. Not into the S&M factor I've grown into. I'm into major S&M, where Tom is not. That's probably why I have my two slave boys, Jade and Drake. Because they do get into the heavy S&M," he says. "It's no different than any other type of sex. It's all in the mind," he tells me with a flourish based no doubt upon good experience. "Whether it's putting on a dress or picking up a whip," he says matter of factly.
And I think he's right. Sex is all in the mind of homo sapiens. Thank God we don't have an estrus cycle. Like baboons. Or bears who only want to make love once a year. "What advice do you have for the younger members of our community?"
Tom Kelly picks it up without missing a beat. "O.K. That's hard." He thinks a minute. "It's easy to be happy if you set your mind to being happy. And if you're willing to work for the things that will make you happy. Sometimes you have to sit down and reassess your priorities and go with those."
"I'll cut you off here," I said, looking toward Patrick McCarty who seems anxious to express his view.
"My opinion on that is to be truthful to oneself irrelevant of sexuality-gay, bi, straight, whatever," he says. "If you're not true to yourself, you can't be happy in life. I'd really like to thank the community," he continued, "for the support they've given us. We've been open as GayMart for two years and we're out of the way here at 808 N. Rampart Street and people have gone out of their way to get to us. So we try to carry as much tasteful gay paraphernalia that we can. Well, maybe tasteful isn't the word"-he laughs-"I mean how tasteful can we get with rainbows everywhere. Maybe fun is the word I mean. Yes, fun things," he says laughing.
"Maybe you mean tasty," quips Tom Kelly with the sexiest little smile.
Yeah, I'd say Pat McCarty has every reason to be a happy man. And he is.
Maybe more of us should try to be truthful to ourselves. And more often.