by Phyllis Denmark
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA
www.thebigdiva.com

OMG it's finally Southern Deca-

dence! I thought it would never

come. I can see the planes landing and all the big pretty gay boys checking into their hotels. It is so exciting.

Of course some of the boys are carrying big pink, yellow, red, etc. hair do's with their luggage.

What would decadence be with out big boys and even bigger WIGS.

Welcome one and all. I hope that everyone has a fun and safe Southern Decadence and remember

I didn't pee in the street when I went to your home town so don't pee in the street here.

I know I am talking to some folks who don't know me. Let me introduce myself. I am Phyllis Denmark aka "the Big Diva". Star of Stage Screen and Video Porn (actually it's Video Poker but don't tell my husband). I am one of many local queens you will come in contact with during your stay in New Orleans. If you see me don't forget to give me money or sex. I will accept either in exchange for my bubbly personality. If you see me I will probably have on my trademark RED HAIR, say HI! Your not in Atlanta or Houston girl this is New Orleans and we talk to everyone we meet. So check your attitudes at the airport and lets party. I will also be giving out the first Big Diva Hand Fan which is a real collectors item. I only ordered 500 so everyone will want one. Be nice and you never know what you might get.

Now enough about me. Wait a minute it is allllll about me dammit! Anyway lets talk about Southern Decadence. Besides the parade and the grand marshal thing it has become so much more. From Wed., Aug. 28 thru Sept. 3rd or so this is the biggest Gay party in New Orleans all year. Mardi Gras is fun and Halloween has become pretty big but Southern Decadence is ALL ABOUT US! I just have a few helpful tips.

1) This is a very tolerant place, but don't push it sister. The police look the other way alot but things that will get you into trouble are: sex in public, urinating in public, acting a fool, i.e. fighting. If you are in a situation with the local police cooperate. Reading a queen might get you everywhere in a bar, but it will get you thrown in jail if you read a cop.

2) Watch where you park. Parking in the Quarter is tough and the tow trucks are merciless.

Also watch where you put your purse. New Orleans is like any other big city and the vultures come out when there are that many wallets around. Only keep as much money as you need on you. Use good judgement.

3) If you're going to drink or do other things remember you're here for a week. Don't over do it the first day and no, I am not going to visit you in the hospital if you overdose on booze or anything else.

4) Try to eat, get occasional rest and wear comfortable shoes. Heels are pretty til you break an ankle in them. I would hope that any serious queen would have been breaking her new shoes in around the house. If you have never put on heels before be careful. Our streets have many cracks in them much like my ass.

5) If you have sex always play safe. I don't want to pay for the rest of my life for something stupid done in New Orleans. If you know them, put a rubber on it , if you don't know them put a rubber on it . GET IT ! I sure hope I get it. Well enough of my helpful advice. Now I have to pay the bills.

I want to remind all of you to check out some of our advertisers. If you need a place to eat or to buy makeup or wigs, or a place to have a cocktail and see what is going on , we are the Official Southern Decadence Guide.

All of our advertisers are either Gay owned or very Gay friendly.

Check our food listings in the Chop Chop section of Ambush.

Now on Thursday night I am going to the first Southern Decadence Kickoff Masquerade Party at , # 2 Canal Street 33rd floor. It is a fund-raiser for the No Aids Task Force.

If you have never been to 360, it is a breathtaking view of the city. There is a $10 cover which will go to the NO/AIDS Task Force. It is a beautiful place with a great dance floor. I will be there giving away free prizes. Doors open at 8pm.

On Fri., 617 Decatur Daquiri and Deli will be having their first TGID Block Party, THANK GOD ITS DECADENCE from 4pm til 8pm. They are located at Decatur and Wilkerson Row and have Wilkerson blocked off for the party. There will be music and food and lots of Daquiris. They also have a $1.00 off coupon in this issue of Ambush. Tell them Phyllis sent you. That should scare them!

Also on Fri. Night, we will be going to the Official Southern Decadence Drag Show at Lucile's Golden Lantern, 1239 Royal Street. This will be "The Show oF Shows" and will feature the Golden Age Revue and SDGM XXX "Irish Mike". Star Eva Las Vegas, assures us this will be a show you will never forget. If you're not familiar with the Golden Lantern, remember it is the Home of Southern Decadence, where the parade will start on Sun. at 2pm sharp.

After the parade will be the Official Southern Decadence Bead Toss at Ambush Headquarters, 828 Bourbon St. honoring SDGM XXX "Irish Mike," 4:30pm ish on Sun. Sept. 1st.

We will be closing out Decadence with the Southern Decadence Survivors Bar Run led by your cruise director Tedd Mahaffy starting at the Corner Pocket, 940 St. Louis St., 1pm on Labor Day, Sept. 2. These are just a few of the hightlights of my Southern Decadence weekend.

Finally I want to welcome all of our visitors and wish all of my sisters a safe and fun Southern Decadence. And remember if you are visiting and want to know what is going on in New Orleans you can visit AmbushMag.COM on-line year round and find out what's hot and what's not. You can also read my article "The Big Diva" year round. New Orleans is a fun, friendly place Have FUN!

PS. Anisa If I offended you at the Cotillion I do apologize, but girl with great boobs like that I thought they were fair game. Love you honey.

And Clorox we love your new smile girl, "You LOOK MARVELOUS!"

For information about advertising and rates contact PHYLLIS at 504.220.6407.