Welcome to a new year, my friends, and like all of you I have decided to
start out with a clean slate. You know, clear the decks of all last year's
bad habits, start exercising, eating right, spending more time in stress-free activities.
So I decided to go to a movie at the new Palace Megaplex. With 20 films to choose from, I elected to buy a ticket to Titanic. Nice stress-free environment, right? Stadium seating, popcorn (hold the butter), Dolby digital sound, rocking chair seats--movie heaven.
The screen in front of you is huge--wall to wall and floor to ceiling-a mini IMAX experience. The climb to your seat is a bit strenuous, but a soft chair with cup holders awaits you at the top.
We made the trek to almost the last row and settled in to happily munch through the previews. Wow, even those have 1998 sound! The trailers alone got my heart racing, but they did not prepare me for what was to follow.
The movie, Titanic, is loosely based upon the facts about the great ship's sinking. Now, if you watch television at all and if you are hooked on the Learning Channel like I am, you are already an expert on all things Titanic. I wondered what new information I could learn from the movie... what pieceof Hollywood trivia or screen-writer's imagination that might put a new twist on things.
Well, since this is not a movie review, let me just say that for almost 3 hours you will be gripped in the hands of an emotional roller-coaster ride that will leave you sobbing at its end.
The whole theater was in tears, good grief! And for all the right reasons.The movie is built around a love story. Whether it is real or imagined, it is powerful, moving, enthralling, and (of course) VERY heterosexual. But we, as lesbian or gay viewers, have learned how to "read" these movies from our own point of view.
I remember the first time I was made acutely aware of my movie "reading" habits...that little step to the right that lets me identify with the characters in ways that don't leave me outside the story looking in. No sir,when I go to a movie, I want to be a part of it.
The first experience which transported me into my own movie magic land happened at an old Barbra Streisand film. I think it was The Main Event with either Ryan O'Neill or Robert Redford (not surprising that I can't remember the male lead).
In any event, it came time for the big love scene and the whole theater audience was waiting for that kiss. As the moment arrived, it suddenly dawned on me that I was wondering what it would be like to KISS Barbra Streisand, not to BE KISSED by Ryan O'Neill or Robert Redford. Same with the Sigorney Weaver films, right girls?
After that moment in movie history, I became more aware of what my view point as an audience member was at these Hollywood offerings. No, I was notwondering as a man what it would be like to kiss Barbra, I was wondering as a lesbian who had had the experience of kissing another woman passionately.
I began to study my own reactions to movie romance over the years, at both straight movie studio films and at the now more available lesbian films. In the early years of lesbian-themed motion pictures, I was more aware of the audience reactions to pictures like The Fox or The Hunger. Mostly, you heard giggles or even boos. It became important to pick my audience for those types of films, as well as the film itself.
After a rather aggravating evening in a theater showing some film suggesting a lesbian love story, I decided to learn how to transport myself into a gender-less world of movie experience. If I wanted to vicariously live thegreat love stories, after all, I needed to become a movie androgyne.
Which brings me back to Titanic. What could be more simple than a movie where you already know the ending? Like Romeo and Juliet, you know that it cannot end good. Tragedy is waiting in the wings.
But oh those movie makers and their tricks! They slowly draw you in, inch by inch, with beautiful people and breath-taking scenes. . . all bigger than life and in the dark! Within the first 30 minutes of this film, you will have already chosen sides, started to wish for a miracle, and your fingers will have made indentations in whomever's hand you are holding.
The thing about Titanic is that it let's you FEEL the immensity of the situation, FEEL the hopelessness, FEEL the senselessness of human folly. And it makes you pray for a different ending...anything but what you know will happen.
It also makes you very human...in a way that transcends any gender affiliation. All I know is that I was on that ship with those people for those three hours of time...and it was only by some miracle that I, myself, did not go down with the rest.
The love story at the core of the film was timeless, and the passion was without need of gender. For me, it was a suspended moment in time when I remembered all the greatest romantic moments of my own life and all the greatest tragedies as well.
I won't go into detail here, because it was not the details that wereimportant. I think it was the very scope of the film... the good, the bad,and the ugly of humankind. The selfishness and the selflessness. The agony and the ecstasy. All that.
I was in tears by the end of the film. . . and not for Hollywood actors. The emotions brought on were real gut feelings. . . and the film did not ask me to choose between male or female characters because it was larger than that.
Can you read movies? I'll bet you can. And if you want to see one of the most readable, go see Titanic. And bring lots of Kleenex.
