hot tails of red stick
Volume 23/Issue 4/2005



by Brad Benedict


It is wonderful to have so many friends. I am truly blessed. This shows through at Mardi Gras when everyone is in a partying mood and the festive occasion brings out some who only get together for this one time of the year. The balls are fun times. The visits from old friends are so nice. Whether you actively participate in krewes or just enjoy an occasional parade or party, itís still the same. We are a community of togetherness.

One of the best things that happened this Mardi Gras season came to me by way of a news feature on the Mardi Gras parade at the airport in Iraq. What a wonderful thing to read and enjoy. Instead of bombs and bullets, you had bead tossing to guys and gals who had never even thought about this holiday before. It is a blessing that someone or group in Lafayette thought to send all these items to Iraq so that their friends could entertain and be entertained themselves. If you didnít read this article, go searching for it on the Internet. It is so uplifting of the human spirit to read such goodness going on in the middle of a war zone.

On a more local note, I have to tell you that Debbie, Claudette, and Josie go out of their way each year to present the place and the atmosphere for all friends and friends of friends to gather and enjoy the party of parties. They dedicated their home to a party and designated it as Apollo Headquarters. However, itís more than that. Itís just a home (and I include Josieís adjacent home too) where love abounds and human beings can share a common bond.

Of course, the first bond I usually seek is that fabulous Scott Blanchard. I arrived before he did this time and had a chance to be with and talk to Jimmy, the reigning Apollo king, for a long time. Iíve always liked Jimmy and I donít see him and his Mark as much as I would like to, but maybe that will change when I re-join Apollo this year. Mark had to work and missed the festivities, but he was at the Lords of Leather bal masque and was the most beautiful of all the krewe queens there. He and Jimmy are just a dynamic twosome, and itís good to have them as friends.

Well, I got to meet Jason. My annual picture of Jimmy, Mark, Scott, and Eddy turned out to be Jimmy, Jason, Scott and Eddy, but thatís okay. I didnít really get acquainted with this cute little stud, but Iím sure there will be other times in other places. Eddy was dignified and studly as usual, and he really is a handsome one himself. I know I talk about Scott a lot, but never fear, Eddy is near and dear. I just like these two a lot, and I think they are outstanding human beings. All said and done, Scott still makes my tongue hard every time Iím around him.

All my leather friends were on Spanish Town Road for the parade, and it was nice to see friends from the Cavaliers and the sexy studs from Atlanta, Barry and Ron. Of course, there was quite a difference when I rant into Barry at the LOL ball. You are truly amazing, darling. I think you are great. Of course, great also applies to Todd and Jules.

Iíve known these two a long time, and they donít come any better or any more devoted to the leather cause, or to any cause for that matter.

Iím not sure if they had a contest for the best float or not, but I can assure you that the best one belonged to Splash. When I delivered Ambush on Wednesday, they were building it behind the building, and I wondered what in the world all that wooden frame was going to support. Let me tell you, I was shocked when I saw the finished product. It was a gigantic flamingo with the head draped (like a wee-wee) over the cab of the truck and the end of this fabulous creation had two of the most mammoth balls Iíve ever seen. It was the biggest and the best piece of pink sex object Iíve ever witnessed.

That was the float itself. Those sexy studs on board were really outstanding too. Wayne and Kevin greeted me first, followed by Dan, Lance, and Mikey. On the other side, was bashful Cory (yeah, do you believe that when you have that kind of body?) and others that I didnít recognize. When it passed by my vantage point on Spanish Town Road, I noted two sex goddesses on the rear end under those gonads. That was the perfect place for those sweeties.

Before the parade started, I noted my beautiful Lance had taken a stroll down Spanish Town Road sporting a nice pair of panties over his jeans and a big crab sticking out of the panties. Sweetie, you were something else. No wonder I love you so much.

I had to also look for Dwayne who usually holds up the Spanish Town Road street sign. Well, they had moved it across the street and placed the stop sign where it used to be, so I took his picture with my very handsome Suzanne on the big truck they had parked there for catching beads thrown above the street crowd. I do love my Suzanne. She is just an exceptional and magnificent wonder woman. Wow!

I wanted to go to Doubloons after the parade, but it was such an exhausting day that I ended up staying home. I met lots of Doubloonites at the parade, and you can check these darlings out on the Spanish Town picture page.

It was also good to see Danny and Hal, Mark and Ken, Lafayette studs Kenny and Garland, cute little Eric, wonderful Chad with the beautiful eyes, Larry and Marshall, and so many, many more. Did I mention Scott Blanchard? Oh, yes, I could never forget him.

I guess I have to mention Tygger too. He was back to his old self again. Heís been laying low for the past year or so. After all, he still owes me 99 more, and that would be without the tongue flower. An adornment of this type sometimes has problems when coming in contact with other adornments. It really was nice to see you again, honey. Any time, sweetie. Any time. You know where to find me.

I looked and looked for my sexy lawyer Joseph before the parade started and failed to recognize his float at this time. It was only when he passed the place where I was standing that I saw him and chased him down. Can you believe that such a dignified person as myself would chase a sexy man down the street with all those people watching? Believe it, honeys. Itís definitely true.

I didnít see Richard and Guy at the parade, but I did have a nice chat with Richard when I delivered Ambush to Georgeís. That is another wonderful individual. I told him I was going to be at his house for the Southdowns Parade, but I enjoyed talking to that wonderful doctor at Seropís so much that I elected to continue to talk to that exceptionally handsome doctor. My goodness! My goodness! I need to schedule a physical right away. Maybe I can even offer him one of my masterful massages.

And speaking of massages, I ran into Michael and Tara at Effie Marieís home, and I always enjoy being with them. Tara says the only reason I write about her is because she is with Michael. Well, darling, that might be true, but I massage women too. Just let me know, and Michael can come along and watch. Just kidding, but this is really a nice twosome, and they both can crawl on my table any old time they so desire.

That goes for the weatherman too. Iíve always thought this was the best TV personality to hit Baton Rouge in years and years, and I kept staring at this hot, hot sex stud in Effieís front yard, and I finally figured out who he was and boldly called him by name and engaged him in conversation. Iím not at all bashful. If Iíd had anything to drink, thereís no telling what I would have asked of him. As it was, I just settled for a picture, which he must have saw coming because he read my mind and looked and waved at just the right time. Itís a part of my very private collection. Now I know why his wife is so lucky. He is gorgeous on TV. He is outstandingly gorgeous in person.

My Colla boy was at the parade gathering too. Iíve always loved this one, and I could never say enough nice things about him. He has a new job now, and I do hope it works out for him. He is one of the most deserving guys I know, and I can only hope him the best that life has to offer. I do love you, sweetheart.

Another young man that I really love is Kevin Chestnut who had a great costume that was perfectly executed with style and class in the Lords of Leather ball. Kevin is one of the most caring individuals Iíve ever met. He really is so nice to be around, is very thoughtful and considerate of others, and he is surrounded by wonderful friends also. Rich is the one I have in mind. My goodness, that man is sexy! What did you have on under that leather kilt, sweetie? I was so shocked at how outrageously sexy he was that I forgot to peek. Oh, well, another time, another place.

And I dare not forget my Mina. This doll is very precious to me as is her mother, and I do hope she forgives me for forgetting our dinner date. Actually, I didnít forget. I just failed to follow through with the date. I really do mean to take her and Kevin out to a nice restaurant, so when I resume my Lords of Leather activities this year, Iíll have the opportunity and the perfect time to do just that. How about The Galley in Metairie, my sweeties? Itís one of the best seafood restaurants in the entire New Orleans area, and they always treat me and my friends so nicely when we stop in for food and drinks. Mina, darling, your costume was great, and you followed through with a theme that really made you stand out above the others.

And this doesnít mean the other costumes werenít just as good. They were. Timm Holt again came forth with what might well be considered the best ball of the carnival season. The Lords always have great shows, and their programs are very impressive too. It takes a lot of support to pull something of this type off so well, but Timm is a master of doing just that. I look forward to working with him again next year. In fact, I was sitting in the audience this year and wondered why in the hell I didnít join in and do a costume. Oh, well, I saw the ball from out front, thanks to Ernie and his thoughtfulness, and I did enjoy myself tremendously.

Timmís other half, Dan, was great as Oscar. When that curtain opened, I thought his appearance was absolutely perfect, and then this Hollywood Oscar came to life and paraded around the stage in all his golden glory. What a great performance you did, Dan. Congratulations.

I also ran into Mr. Louisiana Leather 2004 Tim Lott backstage. He is just as handsome as ever and equally as sexy. His other half was in costume on stage, and I never would have thought his ass would have been so gorgeous. Gary, that was a delightful sight. Thanks for showing.

I could go on and on about the LOL bal masque, and there were so many costumes to brag about. The new royalty made an outstanding entrance. I think the way they were presented speaks a lot of Timmís ability as captain. He has always gone out of his way to bring ball guests the very best. As Iíve always said time and again, the leather guys have the biggest and best balls of them all. And that includes Mina too. (Smile)

Congratulations go out to Lord King XXII Alan and Lord Consort XXII Keith on their fabulous costumes. And the ex-king was also nice. I believe his name was Jack.

And thanks go out to Pat and Jared Keen for their wonderful duties as emcees for the tableau. This makes two years in a row, and I think we need many, many more out of the two of you and even more from Mr. Keen, the body beautiful.

Let me also say how nice the Petronius ball was this year. Thanks to Queen Toni, I had front row seats for what turned out to be an absolute joy to watch. Toni was never more beautiful. The captain was definitely marvelous in his attire, and all the others followed the theme with expertise and knowledge of the subject being featured. I also saw Toni at the LOL ball, and she was stunningly beautiful in a very beautiful black gown. We need to get together more often, sweetie. If Mina will let me, Iíll treat you to dinner sometimes. We might even allow Anthony Benton to join us.

Parade and Ball Etiquette

I have to brag a little here and at the same time come down on others, but I think you will agree with my reasoning here. Our local Spanish Town parties are mostly very nice and orderly, but if there are altercations, it is mostly with the straight, red-neck types. This was apparent again this year. Debbie was bragging after the parade about having 500 people at her 7th Street home, and how nice and clean things remained. The same is true for Davidís home and surroundings on Bungalow or Effie Marieís home, where you have such a nice mixture of gays and straights. And Alís party is always one of the better ones if you are lucky enough to receive an invitation to this private gathering.

I congratulate all the gay groups and the gay parade participants on their orderly and dignified way they conducted themselves and for doing so on a continuing basis. It is a credit to the entire community to see such camaraderie among so many who come together to celebrate and commune with all the care and love that is a common thread of bonding among community members.

On the other hand, I was at one neighborís home with a mixed crowd, but it was totally different. Two straights were going at it, and it was so nasty that I just walked away before someone was killed. Guns and knives are not my cup of tea, and if this house should ever go up for sale, I can assure you I just might become first in line to try to acquire it. It was disgraceful and frightening at the same time.

Also disgraceful was a minor but yet significant run-in at the LOL ball in Chalmette. After having witnessed the Spanish Town disaster, I was not ready to get involved in the rude behavior of two young and somewhat ignorant gay people. Let me explain. At the end of the ball, itís time for the bead toss, and I, for one, donít care whether I catch a bead or not, but itís nice to be able to watch everything without interruption.

Well, this wimpy little homo fresh out of his majestyís school for acne lovers and his gosh-awful dragster sister came forward (probably from the balcony because I canít feature any gay man or woman having them at their table), and stood in front of our table down front. It was all I could do to hold my tongue and ask them to move, so I let them do their thing which was mainly to act lovey-dovey and actually sickening and upsetting for everyone to see.

When they turned to leave I told the little sweetheart with the broad ass and ugly makeup that it was not the proper etiquette to block a tableís viewing even though the ball itself was over. I thought she might take the advice in a friendly way, the way it was intended, but when said little sweetheart called me a "bee-itch," I had to bite my tongue to keep from flooring "it." I even think my partner of the evening, the fantastic John D, grabbed my arm and told me to remain calm and to "remember Spanish Town."

I did stay calm, but I do want these two little children to know that you donít come to a Lords of Leather bal masque and treat a Lord in this manner. First of all, it was a trashy action on their part because I wasnít the only one affected by their rude behavior. Secondly, the lovey-dovey, almost face licking display, was sleezy. And when you saw that hideous makeup, broad rear, tacky dress, and infantile behavior right in front of you, you had to wonder what part of Hicksville these two came from.

Darlings, please go take a lesson in etiquette, something your parents apparently didnít teach you. I might also advise you to seek professional help. Wimpy little boys and a tacky drag queen (and I use that description loosely) donít make a very good impression, and when you add the lack of tact and a personality void to the overall picture, you have two rather dull little people looking to be a part of something they can never attain. That would be acceptance by those around them.

And just remember one thing. Donít ever, ever, ever display your behavior and ugly dispositions in front of a Lord again. It doesnít fly, sweeties. You need to go back to Mama Pearlís School of Expert Learning for Ignorant Slobs and also pay a visit to your favorite cosmetics department and speak to learned individuals on the art of how to present yourselves in public through some kind of makeover.

Until that time, keep your asses where they belong - back in the gutter-filled environments where you came from. And on that note, I wish you a wonderful life and a future filled with happiness. Just learn some manners somewhere along the way. Itís the right thing to do.

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