Dear Ambush,
I want to thank you for your kind words about my performance in the Southern Rep production of Mrs. Cratchit's Wild Christmas Binge. ( I played Tiny Tim.)
If I was happy when I read the review I was completely THRILLED to learn I was named as an honorary mention in your first annual Ambie Awards. It's great to know my work is appreciated.
Thanks to Brian Sands and Patrick Shannon III for reminding their readers that New Orleans has theatre.
Respectfully, --Raphield Howard
Letter-to-the-Editor
It is with great reluctance that I write this letter. I am not really an activist, I pay little heed to the political climate, and I generally go about my life in as quiet and unassuming way as I can. Even as a gay man, the subject of marriage rights for gays and lesbians did little to register my interest, especially since I never even wanted to get married. But since seeing our President make motions to change the constitution to ban gay marriage, I can not remain silent. People like me are exactly what is keeping gay marriage from happening – people who believe in it but are not willing to stand up and fight for it. In our apathy there is acquiescence; by allowing such injustice, we are condoning it. In that silence there is far greater danger than in any public disagreement or political grand-standing. When people are contemplating amending the constitution to deny the rights of one segment of the population, something is definitely wrong, and it is at this time that I must speak out.
My partner Andy and I have been together since the summer of 2000. He is a retired police officer, having served his country for over nine years before getting injured on duty. Andy sends me off to work everyday with a homemade lunch, does our laundry, cooks dinner and organizes our finances. Together we own a home, we share a life, we have everything but a marriage certificate. We pay our taxes and our mortgage, we mow our lawn and we are bound by the same laws and regulations that govern any other citizen, yet we are forbidden to marry because we are of the same gender.
Our nation’s constitution has stated that we are all created equal, that one person is as valid as another – so how can we deny one person the right to marry another, man or woman? I am not asking to marry more than one person, I am not asking to marry a child, I am not asking to marry an animal, and it’s disgusting that I even have to defend such charges.
Marriage used to be a celebration of love ~ a bond honoring the life-long commitment of two people. Why should I be hated for my love? Why should Andy and I be banned from celebrating our love and our life together? In a country that honors freedom, how can we be denied the freedom to love and cherish another person, simply because we’re of the same gender? I do not speak up now as a gay man wanting to get married. I speak up as an American outraged at the segregation and inequality that has been created by refusing a certain group of people the right to marry.
How would my marrying a man denigrate or even affect anyone else’s marriage, or the institution itself? Would people be less faithful if I got married? Would other marriages be tainted or corroded by mine in any way? It seems that divorce and separation are more damaging to the institution of marriage than two gay people making a lifetime commitment to one another. Quickie Las Vegas weddings and reality television shows bargaining off brides and grooms for money are doing more to destroy the institution of marriage than anything I could ever accomplish. If people truly care about preserving the sanctity of marriage, let us ensure that those who get married truly love one another, and care enough to fight for that right.
The opponents of marriage for gays and lesbians seem to be missing the point. This is not about preserving the sanctity of marriage. It is simple hatred ~ homophobic prejudice aimed at an innocent group who only wants to love and celebrate that love like every other person can. What they are really trying to stop is two women from loving each other or two men sharing a life together. But that has already happened, and it’s going to continue to happen. Love cannot be contained or bound by a piece of paper or a legal proclamation.
Some of you will likely disagree with my opinion. You may think I am asking for special rights or promoting a "homosexual agenda." You might claim religious points and wield a strict adherence to a rigid reading of the Bible. If there are enough of you then you will probably continue to deny me and other gay men and women the basic American rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But you will never be able to take away the love that Andy and I share, and you will never silence me from proclaiming our love. All the constitutional amendments in the world cannot alter that.
- Alan Bennett Ilagan, alanilagan.com
Subject: Bush Plays
Destructive and Divisive Politics With Constitution
Date: Tuesday, February 24, 2004
PFAW calls endorsement of anti-gay marriage amendment ‘shameful’
Today, President Bush announced his support for a constitutional amendment that would force states to deny same-sex couples the right to marry. People For the American Way President Ralph G. Neas called the President’s announcement "an appalling and disgraceful move that would cause lasting damage to the values enshrined in our Constitution and very real harm to many American families." Neas said People For the American Way is working closely with a broad coalition of organizations opposing a constitutional amendment.
"We must not rewrite the Constitution to require treating one group of Americans differently than others," said Neas. "The Constitution is the foundation of our freedom. Over many years, men and women have dedicated their lives to ensuring that all Americans are treated equally under the law. It is an unprecedented, and extremely offensive, act to amend the Constitution to require states to discriminate against one group of Americans."
Neas noted that the Bush announcement comes just as the president is launching his re-election campaign. Far-right organizations have been demanding that the White House push for a constitutional amendment in order to energize the president’s political base, and GOP strategists have openly gloated over the prospect of using the marriage debate as an election year "wedge issue."
"The White House is playing a cynical and destructive game with the Constitution, diverting attention from other matters that are of higher priority to American families," said Neas. "We should not allow the White House to distract the American people from issues that pose a real threat to American families, including lack of jobs, the administration’s reckless deficit and tax policies, its dismantling of constitutional checks and balances, and more. Fair-minded Americans will reject this attempt at playing politics with people’s lives."
People For the American Way supports full legal equality for gay and lesbian Americans, and has supported full marriage equality for same-sex couples since 1996. A longtime advocate for equal rights, the affiliated People For the American Way Foundation filed an amicus curiae brief in the Massachusetts case urging the state’s Supreme Judicial Court to uphold equal marriage rights for same-sex couples, as it did.
-PeopleForTheAmericanWay @pfaw.org
[EDITOR'S NOTE: E-mail, letters and commentaries are accepted only via e-mail: info@ambushmag.com.]
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