by Brad Benedict
BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA

Baton Rouge Contingent Invades New Orleans

According to everyone I saw at this year's Mardi Gras celebration, there just couldn't have been many people left in our wonderful capital city, with the exception of a politician or two. To name them all would be several pages of column material, and I would be so afraid I would leave someone out.

Well, what the hell! I'll do it anyway, especially for those I can remember. I ran into those three sexy cowpokes early on in the day-Jim, A.J., and my sweet Gene. They are my favorite triplets! Well, maybe, but I have to remember that the Blue Parrot boys, Don and Tom, were with that Mississippi cowboy Eric, so that's another trio of beauties. Then there was Sam and Kyle and one or two others with them. And how could I ever forget these combos and singles: Steve and Larry; Danny and Hal; Curtis and Byron; Keith (minus his sweetie who had to work); Spanish Town's Al and James; Walter of America Street (who disappeared before I could give him a selection of beads); New Iberia's Jay and his significent other; that Terrifically Terrible Tommy (my wonderful friend); and that super gorgeous and scrumptious swimmer boy, who makes my heart go pitter patter (and you know who I'm talking about, sweetheart).

And I could never forget Vince, Jimmy, and their little sweetie pie, nor could I ever forget wonderful Minette of Hide-A-Way fame, and her Sharie, who graciously shared their Rob with me. I recalled Rob from our meeting last year, and it was so great to see him again. I will have to tell you here and now that Rob is just about the most perfect specimen of beautiful manhood that I can describe for you at this point. He definitely was my choice of the most beautiful face of this Mardi Gras season. He matches that gorgeous Cy of Oz fame, who I chose as the most beautiful of three years ago. And Rob has a dynamic personality, absolutely tremendously gorgeous smile, sparkling eyes, and a brilliant mind that is going to carry him to the heights of success in the business world (if I don't adopt him first).

This year's most beautiful appendage designation would have to go to that marvelous performer, Logan Reed. And Logan, darling, I didn't recognize you until you dropped your pants. I've been panting for you ever since I laid eyes on you through the wonderful world of videos. One of your friends from Denver spotted a picture of you in my collection recently and filled me in on a few wonderful things about you. I would like to interview you the next time you are in New Orleans, so I'll contact Bobby over at the Parade to set it up for me or you can just let Rip at Ambush know when it is most convenient for you. I'll drive down from Red Stick to do you sweetie, the interview, that is. I spent some quality time with Todd Stevens when he performed at the Parade, so I'd like to add you to my list of biggies, which includes the amazingly talented and most astute business man, Jeff Stryker.

Let's get back to those Baton Rougeans who braved the crowds just to be a part of this year's events. Tony and his Greg made a wonderful leather pair. Of course, if you all attended the Lords of Leather Bal Masque, you would have seen the gorgeous Greg in all his glory with his lovely Tony giving him that champagne to taste. Another leatherite from Baton Rouge in the Lords of Leather ball was a wonderful Russell, an enormously talented and handsome former Mr. Baton Rouge Apollo and Mr. National Apollo, not to mention those "other" titles. (I looked and looked and looked for that body beautiful leatherite, James, and Jackson, Mississippi's master leatherman, George, whom I had expected to enter the Bourbon Street Awards, but I missed them completely.)

Former Baton Rougean Varla Merman, Ethel Merman's illegitimate daughter, was again the hostess with the mostess at the awards ceremony. Dynamic Kenny, Baton Rouge's Queen Apollo XV and Wood Enterprises' man behind the magic of the Bourbon Street Awards held at the Rawhide, was doing her thing again on that stage. There's something about the shape of that microphone that causes her to hold on for dear life. Love you, Kenny darling.

That marvelously cute little Brian was among the crowd with another cutie, Chad, who I think is a prominent Lucky Chang's personality. Now Brian and I go back a long way-well, to that time when he couldn't get that cock ring on. It was a very difficult job but someone had to do it, and I graciously volunteered for the assignment. Now while we're on the subject of cock rings, let me tell you about another beauty. You ought to see the one Curtis, my hairdresser, wears. He's simply one of those gorgeous human beings from head to toe and who defines masculinity to the max-outrageously beautiful, a wonderful and caring friend.

Les was at the Phoenix after the leather ball as was Lafayette's Gerald and his other half. I also ran into Damon, Kyle and Sam there, and I believe they made it up to the Men's Room. Precious Jamie, this year's Lord King, arrived later. He, of course, was a spectacular Lord King for this year's Lords of Leather Bal Masque held at the St. Bernard Civic Center, and he will rule over all festivities during the coming year. I sat at another Lord King's table, the one who gave up his title to Jamie, the wonderful Ernie of Fountainbleu. I do believe the Lord King's Consort was that wonderful Peron performer last year on the balcony at Good Friends. I recall that Evita episode as one of the highlights of the 1997 Mardi Gras season. I must also mention that Jared had a wonderful costume for the leather ball too. I've always thought that Jared is a devilishly cute young man.

Jim and his other half were all over the Quarter too. This Jim that I mention here was a spectacular Miss Oneida Sterling and proved that all that glitters is not gold. Sparkle she did, and I would have given her that silver platter in a New York second. By the way, Oneida darling, did you win?

Billy and Daniel were out on Bourbon Street. Their little party of beauties meandered around catching all the sights. Billy is that former resident of Dish Row who moved out to the suburbs, the French Settlement variety.

Kent, Queen Apollo XIV, was in a little bit of special leather attire-a tuxedo top and jock strap, of the special leather variety. The mask fooled me because it hid that beautiful face. This person followed me in the men's room, and I was so flustered at this special attention. It was then that he revealed his identity to me-by lifting the mask, darlings. What ever did you think I was talking about, although I have to admit that this is a beautiful item too.

Another beauty was down for the holiday. Master restaurateur Richard glorified the crowds with that wonderful smile and lovely personality. I kept waiting for his Juban's sidekick Chris to claim some beads, but, alas, I'll have to await his call for that special meeting when I can claim my alamode in private.

I looked frantically for Scott and John to take pictures of their costumes, but I missed them this year. This dynamic duo always has the most marvelous and original costumes of the entire Mardi Gras extravaganza. They never enter any contests or parade at any of the balls. They just create these wonderful costumes and mingle with the crowds showing off their handiwork.

Chris and his George were catching beads like crazy. They are a new duo for Red Stick, relatively speaking, but they have come a long way since the first time I met them. They may even stay in the area, at least until George comes up that dream job.

Well, I have to tell you a little about the Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade in old Red Stick. This is always a fun parade and the only one I catch. Why would I want to mess with catching throws from floats when I can catch glimpses of beautiful dicks all over the place? In Baton Rouge! Heavens, if you believe that's going to happen in Red Stick, you might as well believe that homophobe Woody Jenkins will become president someday. No, I just browse the floats, return to my home to peruse the situation from my front porch, and catch all the dicks and tits in New Orleans, darlings. We just have plain old truck floats here.

They are bad (but in a good and fun way) usually, and the themes carry political messages out to the masses. Bill and that hussy that's trying to get him in trouble with the Starr man were likely targets on many of the floats. Hillary was a close second. Some of our lesser politicians took some flack, but overall it was a fun thing, something Spanish Town is famous for. Much to the dismay of many residents, its also becoming a major pissery for those studs who drink and have to wee-wee a lot. Some of the residents had to stick close to their homes to keep the pests away. Luckily for everyone, the rains came that night and washed it all away.

My precious lawyer, Joseph, and his sweet Joey, were on the Krewe of Hedon float. Lovely Stephanie was also there along with movie-man Leonard, dynamic and sexy secretary Debbie, Steve and several others. Don't forget to go take a few licks with Joey. He's our new ice cream boy-and a dandy one at that.

Several other floats were quite original. Of course the pairing of Chris and Richard was new to me. Richard's a good guy, however, and he looks to be a happy camper. I couldn't find the Advocate float. I was making the rounds with houseguest Ramona, who stopped off on her way to the big ball in Lake Charles. She's a charming woman, and I thoroughly enjoyed her company.

The party of parties took place at the home of Al and James, and guests came from near and far. It was a pink haven of beauty, and like the Ambush parties, an invitation to this one is prized by one and all. Al, along with his buddy Catherine, can claim the best costume originators and designers title out there in ball land. They were responsible for the fabulous costumes worn by Damon and Terry at Apollo's Bal Masque XVII. This royal couple ended their reign with the knowledge that they were the best of all the rest, and they join the ranks of the ex-royalites knowing that they did the best job possible and did it with style and class. And class is the only way to describe Al's complex. The beauty of this man shows through here. They just don't get any better.

Guess what world famous personality is rumored to have purchased a fantastic mansion on Bourbon Street. Could it be Oscar winner Nicholas Cage? We can only wait and hope. Wouldn't an invitation to one of his parties be great!?