Like many others, I have been laid off from my job in the hospitality industry and have had lots of time on my hands so my television viewing has increased immensely. I have watched things that would have never been of interest to me if it wasn’t for the fact that we are living in the age of a pandemic and I am just bored and want something mindless.
So here are my top five “guilty pleasure” television series I have watched that have kept my interest and have been entertaining albeit in a perverse way. Now understand, these are trying times and when this is over, hopefully, my high-brow tastes in television will return, although I doubt it. I watched all seven seasons of Pretty Little Liars, which by the time the last season rolled around, I don’t believe even the writers knew what was happening to the characters.
#5. Warrior Nun (Netflix)
This show, which takes place in current times, is about a young angst-filled girl brought back from the dead to fight demons with a Ninja-trained order of sisters that cover all nationalities. The coming-of-age show includes lots of fight scenes with demons, religious zealots, and has a tortured lesbian love story. Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer without the clever writing. I do have hope for this one, tho, since most of the stars are charismatic, very pretty, and decent actors.
#4. Cursed (Netflix)
This show, which takes place in the age of King Arthur, is about a young angst-filled girl who watches her mother get murdered and is trusted with a powerful sword which she must deliver to Merlin the Magician. In this coming-of-age show, the protagonist Nimue battles deadly creatures, religious zealots, and has a tortured lesbian love story. It seems that during COVID, my viewing tastes have reverted to that of a teenage girl. But the sword fights are fun, so there is that and I need my Game of Thrones fix!
#3. Crossing Swords (Hulu)
Crossing Swords is an adult animated stop motion comedy series where the characters all look like vintage Fisher Price Little People Toys. This show is hysterical. It basically follows Patrick, a goodhearted young angst-filled peasant boy who lands a coveted squire position at the royal castle. His dream job quickly turns into a nightmare when he learns his beloved kingdom is run by horny monarchs, crooks, and charlatans. Making matters worse, Patrick’s valor made him the black sheep in his family, and now his criminal siblings have returned to make his life hell. This coming-of-age animated series contains war, murder, and full frontal nudity. There is even a surprisingly hot gay sex scene between a pirate and one of the knights. Yes, my life has now gotten hot under the collar to peg-people sex.
#2. The Witcher (Netflix)
Sword and sorcery show with Henry Cavill who takes his short off a lot! That’s it; do I really need to go into any more explanation?
#1. The Tiger King (Netflix)
This train wreck of a documentary looks, to the naked eye, like a Christopher Guest movie similar to Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show, but, no, this is real life and it is not pretty. I mean just when I thought it could not go any lower (much like our country’s leadership) then–bam–one of the characters describes having his boyfriend, who has just died, rub his balls on his face. This is in the eulogy he’s making at said boyfriend’s funeral in front of his grieving family and no one bats an eye. I mean this is pure trailer-trash gold. The Real Housewives needs to take a lesson from this show and get themselves some exotic pets that they can feed their philandering husbands to. Since tigers have been taken, I am thinking crocodiles or maybe anacondas.