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The Rockford Files

Ass Cancer and Me – The Hole Story, Part 2

March 22, 2021 By Ryan Rockford

The result of my biopsy identified pre-cancerous cells, and treatment would be necessary.  The cherry on top of this HPV sundae--I also had a fistula in the lining of my rectum. “A what?” I asked, immediately returning his call. In a rather pre-occupied tone, I was told: "A fistula is an abnormal passage that sometimes forms from the anal canal to the skin near the … [Read more...] about Ass Cancer and Me – The Hole Story, Part 2

Ass Cancer and Me – The Hole Story

March 12, 2021 By Ryan Rockford

One morning, not very long ago, I woke up to discover that small growth clusters had begun to appear around the base of my penis and testicular area. I panicked and did what anyone with a medical mystery to solve would do – I ran straight to Google. There is a reason we should never self-diagnose ourselves using Google. Based on my findings, by late afternoon, I was almost … [Read more...] about Ass Cancer and Me – The Hole Story

Weapon of Glass Destruction

February 22, 2021 By Ryan Rockford

(Sometimes) Father knows best. When I was a kid, my grandfather gave me a slingshot for my birthday. It wasn't the usual, ‘Y’-shaped, wooden, piece of crap, slingshot you could pick up at Time Saver. This one was "professional." It was made of aluminum alloy rods and shaped in such a way that the handle extended backward into a wrap-around support bar for the wrist that would … [Read more...] about Weapon of Glass Destruction

Born to Run: The Gay Migration Away from Home

September 28, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

I knew I had to leave.  I had to get out.  I couldn't explain it, and I didn't tell anyone else. I was only 16; I didn't have a plan. I didn’t know when, or how, but I knew that at some point, an opportunity would present itself, and I would take it – I would leave my hometown and my family behind. I love my family and New Orleans, but as I hit puberty and began to … [Read more...] about Born to Run: The Gay Migration Away from Home

Fire Island 2020: Pines Party Weekend

August 24, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

“Through the Looking Glass” This year, COVID-19 has proven to be a big wet beach blanket tossed over the summer of 2020; as a result, the flames of New York’s scorching Fire Island are little more than embers. In the winter of 2019, I eagerly made my reservations on Fire Island for Pines Party, which was scheduled to be the weekend of July 24-26, 2020. The theme of this … [Read more...] about Fire Island 2020: Pines Party Weekend

Next to Normal

July 20, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

Can we expect life, as we knew it, to resume after the pandemic? I don’t think so.  Will things return to the way they were? No. Things will never get back to ‘normal’. The best we can hope for is something next to ‘normal’.  But what does that look like? As a nation, we’ve spent the better part of the last four months doing our very best just to get through … [Read more...] about Next to Normal

12 Inches That Changed My Life

July 4, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

And just like that the gauntlet had been tossed, without cause, provocation, or ceremony. In the blink of an eye, I had been challenged. In less than an instant, I declined.  I reflexively steer clear of the mass-produced trend du jour.  A policy that has served me well, as I see videos of those poor bastards roped into the ice water challenge, cinnamon challenge, or … [Read more...] about 12 Inches That Changed My Life

Beyond the Barricades

June 18, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

As a contributing writer to a contemporary publication, I would feel a bit amoral if I didn’t take this opportunity and use this platform to speak on what has become the largest civil rights movement in history. A movement inspired and enraged by the killing of George Floyd, an unarmed black man in Minneapolis, killed by police while in their custody. As the COVID-19 … [Read more...] about Beyond the Barricades

Filthy Whore SEEKS Hopeless Romantic

June 4, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

As with any relationship, there are so many questions that two men have to answer and negotiate in a romance’s fledgling stage; it can make for a rocky start for anyone who isn’t prepared for the doors of communication to be blown open. Considering the times we live in, one of the questions that many find uncomfortable (including myself) is: Will your new relationship be “open” … [Read more...] about Filthy Whore SEEKS Hopeless Romantic

It’s good to be King

January 14, 2020 By Ryan Rockford

I never much cared for homework when I was a kid. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one. There were so many other things I would have rather been doing. And you might be surprised to find out just how much you can accomplish when you should be doing something else. There are few to choose from, but one of my most memorable homework assignments came from Mrs. Green’s English … [Read more...] about It’s good to be King

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Ambush Magazine is New Orleans' and the Gulf Coast's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer entertainment, news, and travel guide since 1982.

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