America’s Next Fag Superstar spills the tea on Boston’s Straight Pride.
Have you heard the one about some elements in Boston throwing their own parade celebrating Straight Pride? Unfortunately, it’s no joke. And instead of a punchline, the LGBTQ community gets a punch in the gut.
In an act of outlandish absurdity the Boston “straight rights” advocacy group Super Happy Fun America has filed a discrimination suit against the city of Boston petitioning a demand for a Straight Pride parade. Why? Because according to SHFA President John Hugo, “Straight people are an oppressed majority. We will fight for the right of straights everywhere to express pride in themselves without fear of judgement and hate. The day will come when straights will finally be included as equals among all other orientations.”
Just to be clear, these members are of the straight majority who feel they need to fight the gay minority to feel more represented. That’s stupid.
Initially, the idea of mocking the gay pride parade may seem harmless but in actuality, it serves to validate the disrespect and oppression gay people feel on a daily basis. In essence, the Straight Pride Parade takes a big dump on our Stonewall and only exists to denigrate, demoralize and belittle the progress and sacrifices of LGBTQ men and women over the last fifty years.
Adding insult to injury, Hugo goes on to explain that, “This parade is a gift to anyone…who will stand with us and celebrate the wonder and the majesty of God’s own heterosexuality. Men, bring your most toxic selves. Women prepare to burn your briefcases! Because it’s great to be straight and we’re not apologizing for it any more. We’re Here, Not Queer.” If this doesn’t enrage you, it should. This Super Happy Fun American douchebag just spit in our face.
The LGBTQ community has come a long way in 50 years. A lot has changed, but not as much as you think. Queer people are still a minority. We are still a marginalized group who continues to fight for our lives in very many ways and circumstances.
According to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, LGBTQ people consider suicide at a rate of three times the amount of their heterosexual peers. Trans people, especially Trans people of color are the most vulnerable to violence and murder. Twenty-six trans people were murdered in the U.S. alone in 2018. You want to hear something that’s fucked up? According to the CDC stats, Trans women of color have a life expectancy of only 35 years, where their cisgender counterparts have an average life expectancy of 78 years. 35 years?! THAT’S fucked up.
How’s that for some Straight Pride, America? Feeling good?
It isn’t only civilians who are displaying hurtful and hateful behavior towards the LGBTQ minority. Under the current administration, we are increasingly being attacked from elected officials. The very people that we, at least some of us (them?), selected to look out for our best interests are kicking sand in our face.
It’s no surprise to find some more of that Straight Pride hard at work down in Alabama. Recently, Mark Chambers, the Mayor of some dip-shit town in Alabama published a Facebook post equating “homosexuals” to “baby killers,” saying, “We live in a society where homosexuals lecture us on morals, transvestites lecture us on human biology, baby killers lecture us on human rights and socialists lecture us on economics”. Later adding that, “Without killing them out there’s no way to fix it.” Thanks, Mark. What a charmer. I would expect to hear this kind of sentiment fifty years ago, but not in 2019. And yet, here we are.
The fact that there is a Super Happy Fun America ‘straight advocacy’ group in Boston is bad enough. But the audacity of filing a discrimination case, against homosexuals, while demanding, by petition, the creation of a Straight Pride parade in return, is even worse. For a while, the whole dust-up was seen as a joke; nothing but a fanciful idea, unlikely to become reality. But last week, the city of Boston delivered the coup de grace and officially approved a permit for a Straight Pride parade. scheduled to take place in downtown Boston on August 31st, 2019. No joke. I guess if the KKK can march in Skokie, IL…
According to the SHFA website, the event “will be held to achieve inclusivity and spread awareness of issues impacting straights in Greater Boston and beyond.” Participants are also invited to “celebrate the diverse history, culture and contributions of the straight community.”
As a reminder, from the LGTBQ perspective, here are the names of a few people who’ve been on the receiving end of some of the ‘contributions’ the proud, straight, socially sanctioned, majority have made to our community over the years.
Steen Fenrich, murdered by his stepfather, in Queens N.Y for being gay. His dismembered remains were found with the phrase “gay nigger number one” scrawled on his skull along with his social security number.
Sakia Gunn, a 15- year old girl stabbed to death at a bus stop for turning down the advancements of two male strangers, after declaring herself to be lesbian
Ronnie Antonio Paris, a three-year old boy in Tampa, who died from brain injuries received from his father, who repeatedly slammed his son into walls, slapped the child’s head and ‘boxed’ him because he was concerned the child might turn out to be gay and grow up a sissy.
Carl Joseph Walker, an 11-year-old child in Springfield, MA, who hung himself with an extension cord after being bullied at school by his peers who said he “acted feminine”
Last year, in 2018. 8-year old Gabriel Fernandez of Palmdale died as a result of the torture he received at the hands of his mother’s boyfriend. Gabriel was repeatedly beaten, starved, tied up, locked in a cabinet, shot with a BB gun and had his teeth knocked out with a bat.
Fuck you, Hugo and your “contributions of the straight community.”
Strong support for Straight Pride is often based on religious objections to homosexuality. Equally barbaric as those who commit the crimes are those who hide behind a religion that somehow justifies these atrocities. World Pride in NYC is a perfect example: As Seen On TV the Bible Belt wearing members of the Super Happy Fun American (straight) movement are eager to recite or display (in poorly, hand-written magic marker) compelling biblical passages that prove it is the Lord’s will that homosexuals should die.
What these biblical, cherry-picking assholes don’t bother to scream at you, or scrawl on their cardboard boxes, is that the bible clearly states that among others, mediums, fortune tellers and anyone who works on the Sabbath should also be put to death. Put to death for working on the Sabbath? That wipes out virtually every waiter on the planet. For Christians, that’s going to put a huge wrench in their Sunday brunch plans.
By the way, do you know who else likes to object to Gay Pride by supporting and stressing Straight Pride? Extremist groups like the White Aryan-Resistance and the Ku Klux Klan.
Speaking of…has anyone bothered to peek under the white hood of the three SHFA advocacy group’s organizers? According to their bios, John Hugo, Mark Sahady, and Chris Bartley have all been, in some way, affiliated with groups and events that have promoted or ignited physical violence in support of anti-Semitic, misogynistic and anti-LGBTQ views. This parade is not about taking pride in being straight, it’s about promoting the traditional notions of white masculinity and supremacy as viewed by its organizers.
What SFHA seems to be missing is an understanding that Gay Pride wasn’t something created to celebrate our ‘Gayness’. Gay Pride was created out of necessity, and the right to exist without persecution. It’s a simple concept. We want to be treated as fairly and as equally as everyone else. What is so hard to understand about that?
I’ve never known of anyone fired from their job, ridiculed or refused service for being white and straight. Nor have I ever heard of a boyfriend and girlfriend attacked by strangers because they were holding hands at the mall. When was the last time a boy was tortured and beaten for acting too masculine? Or the last time a girl was stalked and bullied on the internet for being feminine?
I love a parade but I sincerely wish Gay Pride parade is one that I wish we didn’t need, but we do. Until the LGBTQ community achieves true acceptance and equality, we need it. We need to keep reminding this country and this world that we are still here and we’re not going anywhere.
As outrageous as this controversy is, I think the best way to counteract and protest this lunacy is to live each day as our authentic selves. Whoever that is. For me, the days of feeling ashamed that I was gay or being intimidated by ignorance and fear are over. I believe that if we each live our lives as proudly and as genuinely as possible, the barriers of resistance will be ground down. Until then, in regards to SHFA and their initiatives, I’m team Smashmouth.
“STRAIGHT PRIDE???? .. FUCK OFF !!! “
Smashmouth/ via Twitter
