For some, it was a House In Vermont, perhaps a House In Vegas. Some Caught the Monkey. Others had the Booty Flu, Butt Pox, or African hickey. For the optimists — He Intends Victory. In the wake of the AIDS epidemic, there were any number of colorful ways to discreetly reveal who among us was HIV+.
Maybe it’s a sign of the times, or I’m jaded, or perhaps it’s because my expectations of others sit just under zero, but I was genuinely surprised when a potential online “date” asked if I knew my HIV status. “Yes. Recently tested, still positive.”
“This user has blocked your profile. You cannot contact them.”
Many young men making the rounds on BigBottomBears.com, etc., do not know their HIV status or lie about it. And that’s a problem. I could have easily lied about mine, but I didn’t — and I don’t.
I’m not ashamed about my HIV status, but I don’t wear a scarlet ‘+’ on my clothes either. I’ve been HIV+ for over twenty years. I am also undetectable and STI-free, with an abundant supply of Doxy-Pep on hand whenever I feel the urge to scratch the sexual itch. However, if you don’t ask, I don’t tell. Your health is your responsibility. Get tested. If you are having unprotected sex and don’t know your status, and don’t ask about your partner’s status, then be comfortable fucking in the bed you’ve made.
Today’s gays have a relatively laissez-faire attitude towards HIV. HIV has become a “manageable condition,” often compared to diabetes; as long as a person sticks to their medicinal routine, life is good.
The “manageable condition” perception may be partly responsible for the rising trend among the queer, under-40 set, to use dating apps to solicit and participate in what could be considered a reckless approach to sex, group sex in particular. In New York, one cruising site has seen a recent surge in popularity because it caters to those looking for no-strings-attached sex.
Sniffies, a largely anonymous geo-based cruising and hook-up app, identifies places and individuals in your immediate area that are available for sex RIGHT NOW. The site’s online message board boasts a rotation of young men looking to be “used” as a community “cum dump”; with little or no regard to who is doing the dumping. With an expressed interest in anonymity, it isn’t uncommon to find the phrase “no load refused”, or “Blindfolded, ass up” included in the member’s post.
I don’t stand in a place of judgment; I stand in a place of concern.
I don’t have a problem with men having sex. With the widespread, no-cost availability of PrEP and Doxy-pep, it is entirely possible for an individual who is educated on the transmission and treatment protocols of HIV/STIs to approach and participate in any sexual scenario in a responsible manner, as odd as that is to say.
My problem is the large number of younger queers who are not educated and don’t care to learn about HIV and the role that it still plays in our community.
In September, GLAAD presented its findings of the 2024 State of HIV/AIDS Stigma Report at the U.S. Conference of HIV/AIDS in New Orleans. In a nutshell, things in America are good, but they ain’t great.
One of the key findings of the report shows that Gen Z continues to be among the least knowledgeable generation about HIV, which is on par with their 2023 study, which revealed that only 34% of Gen Z consider themselves knowledgeable. The ‘23 study suggested that it’s probably not a coincidence that the rates of HIV transmission are now highest among those aged 13-35 (57% of new cases). This is partly due to a lack of knowledge but also the fact that the younger age group may be having more sexual encounters with more partners.
According to the CDC, nearly 40% of new HIV infections are transmitted by those who don’t know they have it.
PS: 81% of Americans believe that it should be considered criminal for someone living with HIV to have sex with someone who does not have HIV without disclosing their health status.
Know your status. Get tested.
The lack of education among Gen Z and those that follow isn’t entirely their fault. Politics has stepped in to really fuck things up. As anti-LBTQ+ bills sweep the United States, information about sexual health, including HIV/AIDS education, has been bombarded with plans to limit students’ access to information about sex, sexuality, sexual orientation, and gender identity. In 2023, Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds signed a bill that prohibited any discussion of gender identity or sexual orientation in grade school classrooms. Hard to believe, but Drag Queen Story Hour is still a hot-button issue, and how can we forget Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill?
The 2024 GLAAD report went on to reveal that America has seen a significant decrease in the belief that everyone should get tested for HIV and a decrease in the belief that people living with HIV can live long, healthy lives. These are two very telling examples of misinformation and lack of HIV education. How can we eradicate this situation when so many people lack correct information? Information that is becoming increasingly difficult to find.
Young queers today are faced with a crisis of lack of access to information. Our education system isn’t the only information source dropping the ball. Broadcast media isn’t pulling its weight either. Seeing stories of people living with HIV increases comfortability, in turn creating a more tolerant space for discussion. Still, this past year has shown a significant decrease in Americans seeing people living with HIV on TV or Film.
GLAAD’s Where We Are on TV study showed only one LGBTQ character in primetime scripted broadcast, cable, or streaming programming living with HIV in the most recent television season…and is not expected to return.
The lack of representation and less than accurate information on HIV and affordable care access in the media affects the education of the younger generations. Entertainment is a powerful tool that can help leverage education about HIV so that young generations can understand it better.
The GLAAD ’24 report shows that the state of HIV stigma in America, overall, is on the decline, but who knows what fire and brimstone the new Trump administration will bring. Now is the time to accelerate education before Big Brother turns the hose on us. It’s time to choose a side. If you are looking for a cause to stand behind, choose HIV. It should be a driving priority of every generation to push for a cure until one is found. Demand more education, especially for children. Demand representation. Face HIV head-on and talk about it. Sharing stories of people living with HIV saves lives. Get loud. Act up. Be Seen and be heard. Your life may depend on it.
Thank you for reading. Please share your opinion on this article or suggest topics for future articles at RyanRockfordNYC@gmail.com
